So many 24 hours have passed, and in many of those I have forgotten to celebrate that you are not with me.
Many moments I have experienced your absence as torment, aching as I miss you. Emotions so real, raw and intense that I did not know if I would survive them.
Many days and some successions of days, I have forgotten to celebrate you not being with me… Some stretches turned into seasons. Seasons that exhausted my heart, nearly extinguished my faith and came close to ruining my hope…
But if I have any Concept of God, His heart, His promises, His plans… Then how can I not celebrate that you are not next to me now?
If I believe in the seasons and timing of the Almighty… The truth of Him working all things together for those who love Him… If I believe that I can trust Him with my life, and that He has my heart…
If I know that I walk under His guidance and council…
Then all that I could possibly say is, I celebrate that you are not with me now…
Although my heart is crying, I can still celebrate because He is my God…
I love you, my beautiful man… I celebrate your absence in the natural and believe in the exquisite destiny God has for you and me.
I could ask my heart why it loves you, as I could ask the sun why it does shine.
I could ask myself why it chose you, as I could ask the wolf why it chose to howl.
I might ask my soul if it should not find another, as I could ask a desert mouse, if it should not move elsewhere.
The sun would most likely answer, that it shines because that is what stars do.
And the wolf would probably say that it knows no other cry.
And I assume the desert mouse would simply call the desert its home.
I love you because that is simply what my heart does. A heart like mine, loves a human called you.
I chose you, because no matter the facts or circumstances, I will always end up choosing you because that is what a myself like me would do.
You are where a soul like mine would stay. You are simply my home…
I love you because I am me.
I will never have this moment again
Soon this moment would have passed
Then there will be a new moment
But it won’t be the same as this one
So now in this moment, that has never been and will never be again, I want to write this to you
In this moment, as my heart is silent
And it feels like I don’t know what I feel
In this moment, when my eyes are open but it is pitch black and I still can’t see
In this now moment, no light, no voice and no path, I have to say:
You are an awesome reason to endure
You are worth this gruelling journey
I will walk another thousand years to find you
I will wait another lifetime just to hold you
And the blessing is that in this now moment I can still love you and in the next moment, I can love you again.
Copyright@ thelovetestimony 2018
“Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].” 1 Corinthians 13:7
I can still faintly remember the sound of your voice… But the vividness has faded.
I can still see your amazing face before me… But some detail has been worn out in my mind, through the passing of time.
I don’t quite remember what your hands look like, or exactly how it felt to hold your hand, or feel your embrace.
But what I do clearly remember is how much I love you. What is still very much defined in my heart, is my respect, my commitment and my intensity towards you.
A lot has faded, but fadeless are my hope for you and for your life! That you will live in the fulfilment of God’s dream for you.
There is a deep belief in me, with an immovable conviction of your quality, and believing the best about you.
I am weakened, so much feels weakened… But this I know, this has endured, without weakening, without fading… I love you. And the depth of my heart knows this is steadfast and true.
The deeper the darkness around me, the more potent the light of the moon.
And when the absence of light hides where I am at, I look up to the most grandiose display of stars.
Darkness makes light brighter, but you have to look up to see it.
I send my love to the stars, so that when you look up into the night sky, it will be my love that sparkles down on you.
I hope that you will notice that the stars are now shining a bit of me for you.
I hope that somehow, when you look at them, that you will feel warm, loved and desired.
I hope that somehow they will shine into your heart the truth of who you are to me… But also just simply, the truth of who you are.
When I get quiet enough to see my heart, it’s still smiling.
When the thousand fleeting thoughts can stop for a moment, it is still you I am thinking of.
When I honestly face myself, I must still say… It is you that I love.
Once a heart has tasted authentic love, the heart only knows eternity…
So, even though years have gone by and days have grown longer, and memories started to slightly fade…
My heart is still caught up in that moment, when I gave in to loving you…
that moment I allowed eternity to become my existing space…
The moment I allowed love to take me home…
Already living eternity… Loving you.