9 October 2017
There’s a world to discover
A vastness of a variety of beauty to see
There’s the diversity of cultures to experience
The mighty oceans to explore
The spectacular continents to see
Yet my world has a pivot
My life has found a focus point
My eyes behold the magnificence of everything around me as I travel and do life
But the eyes of my heart is on you
I can stare at the Northern lights in wonder,
Yet my heart looks to you…
I can climb a snow covered mountain
Yet my heart is pulled to you
With a magnetic yearning, I am drawn to you, my love…
I am expectant
It can’t be long anymore
Wherever I go, my heart pivots around you
And the force of the pull has not weakened
I love you most…
My dearest love,
And yet my heart remains expectant as I keep my eyes on the God of miracles and as I quiet the loudness of my mind, and find my heart and what it is really saying to me.
I love that our love is tested to the extreme. I love that I have to keep on delving deeper into my ability to love. I love that our love is under fire! I love that our love is tested by every form, logic and reason to prove it is impossible.
I love the buoyancy of my love for you! I love that I feel like I am drowning in deep, dark waters of impossibility, doubt, hopelessness and despair but there is always a moment of buoyancy… always. Every time I just can’t go on.
I am so humbled that I can love you. I am so blessed that I can carry you with me in my heart. It is so amazing that I can have the honoured position of praying for you.
What I love the most about this journey is that it is my journey, but you are making this story possible.
I love you with the assurance of forever… I love you with the energy of now… and I love you with the finality of yesterday.
It is love that makes God powerful. He is powerful because He is Love. It is love that makes God beautiful. He is beautiful because He is Love…
I know I am not much. I am dust, a breath, a moment. In the grand scheme of things, I am really minuscule.
But I want you to know that this dust is deeply devoted to you and this breath lavishly adores you. I want you to know that in this moment called ‘my life’, you are exclusively loved.
I really am nothing and in the grand scheme of things, I really am insignificant…
Maybe the actual beauty of life and purpose of being alive is to see how dust can fiercely love, and a breath can deeply connect and a moment can pierce into eternity to unlock heaven and start to live it here on earth.
I don’t know. I can’t see the bigger picture. All I know is, here I am, just simply me, loving you.
Above all adoration I could possibly utter
Above all adulation I could put into words
Above the greatest admiration my soul can birth
Above the highest renditions of awe my being can express…
That is where your appraisal is set
Yet, you love the weakest hallelujah
You love the faintest declaration
You love a sigh directed towards You to hear
You love a human, ‘I love you, Lord’
You love a frail dependency on You
Even if every human, ever created will shout with conviction and declare your greatness…
It will still be a fleeting mist, a whisper, a hint and a hum compared to the actual sound of glory due to Your great name.
Yet, You love the voice of one…
Your heart overflows as a single human gives any form of expression towards You.
Oh, how deeply You love us. Father.
If we but knew…
Father, I want to know…
I went through a couple of weeks seeking new depth and new revelation from God. And even though I thought of my blog nearly every day, I realized that I do not want to just post for the sake of posting something… God is working a new depth in me and new revelation about love. I am excited about this!
So here is a letter I wrote today to him, the only one my heart loves:
I love you with the brightness of 10 000 stars.
No, I love you with the brightness of all the stars the universe possesses, and all it will still create.
I love you with a field of an extensive variety of flowers.
No, I love you with the beauty of every single flower that has ever seen the face of the sun, throughout all generations and even for all existence still to come.
I pray for you. I pray that the brilliance of God will be your light, even in your darkest night.
I pray that the unfathomable love of God will become fathomable to you to the greatest extent possible for a human being.
I hope for you. I hope that the extravagant excellence of the dream God has for your life will be your daily experience and that in the hell of your suffering, you will display the grace, the purity, the power and the victory of Christ in you.
I hope for you. I hope that the miraculous glory of God will saturate, heal and disintegrate every form of doubt, fear, uncertainty or hopelessness in your heart.
May you explode with the overwhelming beauty and presence of God within you.
I am a child
I trust you
I love you
I cry with you
I laugh with you
I care about you
I express my true self
I grow up
I don’t easily trust you, I’ve been disappointed
I don’t deeply love, my heart is hardened
I cry alone, you don’t see my tears
I seldom laugh, maybe fake joy infront of you
I don’t care about you, it is too painful
I will never risk exposing my true self, no one reslly knows me
I am restored
I trust you, with my whole heart
I love you, as deep as the ocean
I cry with you, as long as you need me to
I laugh with you, until we can’t anymore
I care about you, anything you need, any way I can help
I express my true self, you love me just the way I am.
This is our human instinct, before our human pain…
This is our potential…